


Derry drag race

by Sleeplessinthesea



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Drag Queens, Drag Race, Drama, Fluff, Love, Other, Reading, Slow Burn, more tags to come, penny wise is mamma wise, preforming, rivalries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleeplessinthesea/pseuds/Sleeplessinthesea
Summary: Welcome to season 27 of Derry drag race may the best hooker win!
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey welcome to Review with a Jew mom! My name’s patty and I’m your hostess with the mostest let’s hop right in and meet this seasons queens! Can you believe it’s already been 27 seasons?”

____

The show begins with a tall leggy queen stepping into the workroom, over drawn makeup, lilac floral body suit and a brown curly wig with pink highlights. She walks into the workroom and stops at the end of the walk way, “I’m gonna drag all these bitches to the trash and back!” She giggles as we cut to our first introduction confessional, a man with dark curly hair and glasses gives a goofy smile to the camera. “Hi my names Kameron Komedian, I’m thirty five years old and i never learned how to read!” The music pauses as he starts laughing hard enough to snort. “I’m from Chicago and i guess I’d say I’m a comedy queen, although..” He sits up straight “you all know I’m gonna be the prettiest queen here, ” He winks at the camera before it cuts back to the work room the next queen stepping in. A slightly petite queen walks in with an asymmetrical bob Wearing a brown pant suit, Karmen Watches her curiously “I didn’t come here to make friends I came here to win,” she says smirking slightly.

The camera cuts to the confessional where we see a blonde man leaning back in his chair, “Hey, I’m Arcadia token and I’m twenty nine years old, I’m from Salt Lake City Utah and I’m a fishy queen.” He smirks crossing his legs as he leans forward slightly. The camera cuts to the work room as Arcadia walks over to Join Karmen at one of the Tables “Long time no see Karmen,” Arcadia says sitting across the table, the camera cuts to the confessional where Karmen has her face in her hands. “I fucked this bitch..”He groans Rubbing his hands down his face as the camera cuts to Arcadia’s confessional “Yeah we fucked, but he couldn’t stop crying!” The camera cuts back to Karmen who’s glaring at the camera “I was only crying because I made a really funny joke and I was laughing so hard I brought myself to tears!”

The camera cuts back to the workroom as a small queen enters, pink teased wig, bright blue lipstick, black skinny jeans and boots with only a white leather jacket perfectly taped to her chest. “Like my name says i rise from the ashes..” She giggles pushing her shoulders out with her hands on her hips,We cut to the confessional of a bubbly red headed woman bouncing slightly in her chair. “Heyyyy I’m Phoenix and I’m thirty two years old and I’m from Arizona, And i am the first bio queen to ever appear on Derry drag!!” She chirps happily as the camera goes back to the work room, she’s sat herself next to Karmen who’s tugging slightly at the pink hair. “Well aren’t you just cotton candy and sparkles,” he coos earning a laugh from Phoenix.

_____

”Oh my god there is so much going on here!” Patty giggles clasping her hands together in front of her face, her glasses sliding down her nose slightly. “First off KARMEN!! You bitch you didn’t tell me you were going to be on this season!! My baby! Secondly, Arcadia I’ve heard about you and not just from that one story..I’m interested to see if you can bring more than fish to the table or do you just stink like one? And oh my god a BIO QUEEN YASSSSS!!!” She clasps “Already this seasons going to be good!! Bring in more girls!!”

_______

The commercial break ends and another queen enters the work room, a beautiful ebony queen walks in clad in rhinestone cowboy boots, a neon pink puffed dress and a cowboy hat that matches the boots. She stops at the end of the walk way her caramel curls bouncing as she tips her hat slightly “Giddy up girls it’s time to ride off, This is mine to win!” She gives the camera a sharp grin as It fades back to the confessional where the dark skinned man smile warmly at the camera,”Hello my names Michelle hanlon I’m thirty eight years old I live in Florida with my husband,” his eyes drift down the the ring on his finger. “I’m called a pageant queen but I want To prove I’m more than just a pretty face,” the confessional cuts back to the work room as Michelle Goes around shaking the hands of the other queens “Well I’m glad that I only know one person here so far, I can’t think of how this could get any more awkward.” Arcadia says drumming her nails on the table as the camera cuts to another queen.

In walks a slightly bulkier queen red wig pulled up and styled like a troll doll, “She walked in wearing a dress that screamed fairy god mother from shrek,” The camera flashes to Karmen laughing in confessional then back to The queen herself “Back up the bitch is here!” It cuts to a confessional of a dirty blonde man with a backwards baseball cap “hi my names stabitha I’m fourty three years young, i live in Salt Lake City with my cousin and I’m that bitch,” the camera cuts back to the work room zooming in slightly on a mortified Arcadia as Stabitha goes around shaking peoples hands. “My cousin of all people, of all people to have walk in..I’m fucking shook.” The next queen steps in soft smile on her face stepping in she’s wearing a light purple chiffon gown with her slightly muscular arms showing hair done up in a top knot on her head two strands hang down framing her face. She stops at the end posing slightly “I’m here I’m stunning and I’m gonna steal some hearts.”

Fading into the confessional a man smiles wearing a tight fitted muscle shirt “Hi my names January embers, I’m thirty two years old and I’m from Vancouver in the great white north of canada. I’m more of a muscle queen if I had to describe my own drag, but my face is very fishy,” He smiles running his fingers through his hair as the show cuts to another commercial break.

_________

”okay we have some excellent queens this season so far and we still have more coming!! Did you see the look on Arcadia’s face when Stabitha walked in!! Price-less! And oh my god did you see Michelle’s make up!! Ugh she could paint my face any day! And the fact he’s married is just so sweet!! God this is so exciting!”

__________

The show comes back next queen to walk in is wearing a slightly older looking white dress blonde wig styled in tight blonde curls as she stops putting her hand up elegantly “My name is Victoria crescent and I do think I hung the moon,” it cuts to confessional of a lanky man with bleached blonde hair with a nose ring, “Hey I’m Victoria crescent and I’m forty years old and I live in West Virginia. I’m more of a pageant queen myself but I do have a few tricks up my sleeves,” It cuts back to the work room where the queens are chatting it up. The camera pans up from the floor as the next queen enters wearing a pink flower covered body suit and a brown shoulder length wig “My looks are better than my book endings babes,” she coos kicking up her heeled foot as the camera pans up to catch Michelle smiling softly before cutting to the confessional, a man relclines in the chair baby blue button up open at the top, “Hi my name is Stephanie Kinnnng and I’m thirty eight and I live in Florida with my husband who just so happens to be on the show! I guess you could call my drag free spirited!” 

__________

”OHMYGOD YOU GUYS!!!!” Patty shrieks happily covering her mouth with her hands “OH my god Michelle and Stephanie!!!! I’m gonna cry!” She fans at her eyes “this is too cute, but oh my god this is gonna be so heart breaking when eliminations happen!” She pauses shifting in her chair “god this is so good so far my emotions are everywhere!” 

_________

The camera pans over back to the entrance way as a new queen walks in waist cinched beyond belief, the other queens look on in awe “I’m not the only one who’s gonna be breathless,” she hums as it fades back into the confessional to a tall man with his brown hair pulled back into a tight pony tail. “Hey my names Flame Babie and I’m forty two years old and I’m from Las Vegas Nevada, my drag could be described as fishy beyond compare!!” He snaps as it goes back to see the next girl, and in steps another plus sized queen who pauses at the end of the walk way pink wig teased tall body put in a tight purple bra top and pencil skirt “ she sprays her wig with hairspray smiling big “Here to give you the body ody ody,” She states as it drifts to the confessional a man with a slightly stubbly face stares into the camera “Hey I’m Betty coxer, I’m forty years old and I’m from Las Vegas Nevada, I’m more of a look queen but the looks I bring sure are memorable.” The camera goes back to the work room as the girls chat and give each other side eye, “Two more girls and were a complete group,” Bill muses combing his fingers through his hair.

The camera pans back to the door at that as the next queen walks in, saggy green suede boots, fishnet thigh high stockings held up with garters to his shorts, a red cardigan and place strapless top, blue wig styled in loose waves. “Hey bitches!!!!” She calls and the camera looks over the girls pausing on Karmen, before cutting to Karmen in confessional “I don’t know who she is but she could crush me with her thighs and I’d say thank you,” she says fanning herself as she tugs her lip between her teeth as it goes to the new girls confessional, a slightly tattooed angry looking man has his gaze drifted slightly off camera “Hey My names Edith Kay and I’m twenty five years old, and I live in New York New York. I guess you could consider my drag more in the punk rock or alternative style,” the man shrugs as it goes back to the work room Edith walks to the table sliding onto the empty stool next to Karmen who Looks her up and down. “Well hello there,” Edith eyes Karmen cautiously before giving a slight smile. 

The camera goes back to the entrance as the last queen enters blonde hair styled high as she comes in blue dress swishing as she does, “Here for all your mozza needs,” She chirps clapping her hands together as the others smile softly “Oh look a baby!” Michelle coos as the camera goes to the confessional, “Hi my name is Jew bitch, I’m twenty three years old and I’m from Chicago!” He shifts anxiously in his seat “I guess you could say my drag is fishy but fun!” It cuts back to the work room where Karmen’s gotten up running over to pull Jew into a hug “MY CHILD HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL MEEEEE!” She coos as the smaller queen laughs hugging Karmen back “You didn’t tell me either to be fair!” She retorts as they start giggling just as the chime of ‘ You’ve got a balloon’ chimes from the large tv in the room as all the girls walk over ready for they’re first greeting..

_________

”oh my god guys I’m shook!! My boyfriend is on the show and look how cute he is!!” She sighs softly “I’m so looking forward to this but first let me check out some of your tweets, after that I think were going to have to make this first episode a two parter!” She pauses pulling up her twitter feed “From @criesinedithkay Finally look at that stunning queen!! God I’ve watched three of her sets live #legend #teamedith Kay,” she scrolls a little bit “ From @Cherrybombpheonix YASS A BIO QUEENNNNNNNN LOOK AT YOU GO!! #teamPheonix,” PAtty snorts as she scrolls again “From @CAnadianHotttttmesss I would like to burry myself in Jew bitches wig and live there, plz step on me #teamjewbitch,” “me too girl me too,” Patty says softly swiping again. “@Taylorthepugmom says Stephanie kinnngg you are a legend please sign my copy of When night meets gale #TeamStephanieking.” She gives one more swipe of her thumb “And lastly From @@lizzzarrdddem I would kill for Jew bitch she’s adorable!! #teamjewbitch. OoOo and one last late one from @Fugooooofishes Karmen is my life i would die for her #teamKarmen “ She shifts in her chair giving it a quick spin “Well folks that’s all for this episode or were gonna run too long!”

”See you like next week for the second half of episode one next week! Until then, be safe and take care of yourselves!!”


	2. Episode 1.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 1 meet the queens continued welcome back sewer rats!

“Hello my little babes welcome to review with a Jew mom episode one point two, where we’ll finish the last of episode one! My names patty of course and let’s just get right back in, I’m as excited as you are!!

________

The show comes back from it’s wise recap for the episode to all of the girls watching the ‘balloon mail’ flash onto the tv, Mamma wise appears on the tv bright red lips and bright red hair styled impeccably. “Good morning girls and welcome to season 27, I hope your all ready to shoot for the stars!” She chirps as the logo for the season flashes over the screen the girls starting to chatter, The door at the top of the stairs against the far wall opens and in steps Robert grey into the work room clad in a bright purple suit, “ hello hello hello!!” He greets making his way down the steps towards the twelve excitedly waiting queens. “Well look at all of my stunning girls! how are we feeling today?”there’s a chorus of answers as the camera pans over the group before re focusing on Robert, he claps his hands “well let’s get right into today’s mini challenge, since your all looking sickening enough your ready for a photo shoot,” He smirks and the camera cuts to Arcadia in confessional “Of course the first challenge is a photo shoot,” The blonde smirks picking at his nails “I came so ready for this!”

The camera cuts back to the work room “Oh carnival crewww,” Robert calls and a line of half naked men walk in wearing only bright red underwear. Trailing behind is a bald man with a camera, it cuts to Stephanie in confessional Who’s bouncing in her seat “I’ve never really done a photo shoot in my drag before! I watch my husbands shoots all the time, and there’s been the one or two I’ve had to do for my books, but this will be maybe my second time being photographed in drag!” The camera goes back to the girls in the work room who have turned to one of the far walls all of them look shocked As the camera cuts to Victoria in the confessional hand covering his mouth. “You have got to be kidding me...” It goes back to the work room showing a large fan and tubs of glitter “you didn’t think you could get out of this without a little sparkle did you?” Robert laughs “You all have five minutes each, while you serve looks the carnival crew will be using the fans to add some sparkle to your photos.”

The camera cuts to Edith in the confessional who’s pinching the bridge of her nose, “the last time I saw this amount of glitter was when I went clubbing for the first time and I was vomiting that glitter for weeks..” It cuts to Karmen in confessional who is beaming with excitement “This is just like my last Saturday night! I still have glitter in my ass..”He pauses laughing “god I love glitter!!” It cuts back to the work room as Flame get’s into position in front of the camera “you ready flame babie?” Robert asks as Flame nods striking a quick pose “I was born ready,” The fans start blowing and glitter is thrown in and it’s easy to tell she was not ready. The camera snaps some photos before the camera pans over the other girls who are whispering to each other, it fades back to the confessional Stabitha laughing “The look on Flame’s face, oh my god!” He snorts as it cuts back to the work room Stabitha readying herself as Flame is brushed off over a large sheet of white paper.

_______

”Glitter challenge I can’t even begin to form how perfect it is!” She giggles “Jew is going to absolutely loose it! Ahhhh,” She laughs spinning her chair around “And Karmen isn’t lying she does use a lot of glitter...” She pauses “And before you ask Karmen is like a mentor for Jew and has been in our lives for a while, I say it now cause y’all are gonna for sure say something about it.” She nods curtly crossing her arms over her chest, “Back to the glitter shoot Poor flame she was so not ready for it, the instant that glitter hit her it was obvious!” She slightly fast forwards through a few of the girls “And watching now as a few of the other queens go through I don’t think many of them were ready.”

_______

The camera focuses on Michelle who looks slightly nervous but inhales and exhales really quickly “ready!” He gives a thumb up as the fans start , the glitter is tossed in as the camera takes photos Michelle working it better than the other girls so far. The camera goes to confessional where Stephanie is beaming at the camera “That’s my baby!! I fall deeper in love with him watching him in his element..” He sighs happily as the camera goes back to Michelle’s shoot Stephanie’s voice laying over “I just love seeing him so in his element, and that’s what Michelle does for him, and he’s so relaxed I never thought I could love anyone more everyday but,” the camera cuts back to Stephanie rubbing at his wedding ring “ here I am happier than ever!” The camera goes back to see Jew bitch shaking her head slightly, ”I can’t believe it’s only day one!” She mumbles as the fan starts and she’s caught slightly off Guard as the glitter is tossed in and the pictures are snapped, Jew steps over to the white paper and they start to brush her off as the camera goes back to Robert “Alright now wasn’t that just wonderful! A good way to show off your sparkling personalities!”

The camera pans over the girls as Robert continues “Now for todays maxi challenge, we have talents or not! This is your chance to show case one of your many talents for our esteemed panel of judges, now go get yourselves changed and work on what your planning to show us! I’ll see you on the main stage later.” Robert leaves the carnival crew in tow as the girls walk to their work stations, shaking off extra glitter as they change out of their drag. “Well when did this room fill with such attractive menses?” Karmen says slipping on his glasses his contact case sitting on the table next to him.The camera pans to Arcadia who’s rolling his eyes as he fixes his t-shirt, “Are you ever not talking?” He says shooting a pointed look across the room, Karmen rolls his eyes tugging on a loose Hawaiian shirt He goes to speak when Edith cuts in “Oh get the stick out of your ass Arcadia it’s the first day,” Karmen’s eyes drift over to the smaller queen who’s tugging on a black band t-shirt. The camera goes to a Karmen confessional.

He sits for a second with his hands together in front of his nose “When I say I have never ever seen anyone with a hotter body....” The camera cuts to Edith searching for his jeans, as Karmen continues “In all my time I have never had such a hard time NOT popping off my tuck ya know?” There’s a pause as Edith stands up straight holding up a pair of black skinny jeans “God the competition isn’t the only thing that’s gonna be hard..” Karmen finishes as the camera goes back to the confessional where Karmen’s smiling at the camera.

_______

“Okay firstly stichelle is goals! I honestly teared up watching Stephanie talk about Michelle, I hope to stay that much in love with Jew for the rest of our lives.” She sighs happily “One day we’re gonna have a nice house with a flower garden in back and a porch swing..” She pauses “ To be quite honest I’m a bit worried about flame Babie here, her and Stabitha in my opinion did the worst in the challenge and I’m scared for them but someone has to be in the bottom. I’m so excited to see everyone’s talents tonight! Most of these queens are pretty well known I’m most looking forward to see the three we don’t really know very well. Let’s take a second to check twitter to see some more comments from you all,” She pulls out her phone and scrolls for a second “ @Hardleythere_button says Awe flame babie is gonna go up in flames tonight sorry bb #derrydrag27,” she swipes again. “@miilkmedaddy33 says Michelle Killed it! Yasss #derrydrag27.” She sets her phone on her desk “Alright let’s get back to the show!”

________

The work room is a bustle of queens sewing, chatting and puttering about as the banner reading ‘day of show’ appears on the screen. January embers and Phoenix Are lounging on the couch going over their notebooks, the camera cuts to Phoenix in confessional “I’d be lying if I said January embers wasn’t the sweetest,” The camera flashes to them huddled on the couch “and I totally can see him and I possibly maybe being more than friends? Like we’ve met before this so he knows how I’m ace and like he’s been so cool with it..” Off camera you can hear the producer ask ‘ did you guys talk long before this?’ And she smiles “Funny enough no, we met one weekend at a club when he swooped in to help me with some unreasonable patrons at a show...We talked for hours that day.” She beams as the camera goes back to the work room Camera shifting it’s view to Arcadia and stabitha in the corner whispering and laughing back and forth as they work on their outfits for the night.

“Oh my god I can’t believe they’ll let anyone in here now a days,” Stabitha says his mic shifting on his t-shirt. “Oh I know, I mean Come on Komedian isn’t even good enough to mop the floors here!” Arcadia replies and they snicker, the camera view goes back to Karmen who’s Laying across one of the tables Jew bitch sitting on one of the stools rolling his eyes as the older man laughs about something. “And what’s with that Edith bitch?” Arcadia continues as Stabitha shoots a side eye backwards towards where Edith is sitting alone with a note book, earphones in. “Do we even know what sewer he came from in New York,”Arcadia huffs setting down her scissors “No but wherever she’s from I’m sending her back!” The both start laughing as the camera cuts to Karmen and Jew bitch.

“So why didn’t you tell me you got onto the show?” Karmen asks rolling onto her stomach “Well technically you really didn’t ask,” Karmen huffs rolling her eyes before her eyes get wide. “OH MY GOD YOU LEFT THE BABY HOME ALONE!!! How could you?? I could have asked my mom to go check on her and make sure she’s eating!” The younger Queen shakes her head slightly “It’s totally okay! You know patty she’s totally fine and besides Maggie calls us at least once a week!” He pauses Letting his eyes drift to the queen tucked away by himself. ”Soyou’ve been eyeing the New York queen for the past two days...” Karmen’s eyes narrow as Jew bitch smirks “I have not little one and if the little birdy doesn’t zip her lip I willshove my sock in your coffee again.”

The two share a challenging look“ I think you should go for it old man, I mean when was the last time you got laid?” He asks and Karmen huffs sitting himself up cross legged, “I’ll have you know It’s none of your business...God your like my kid I cannot talk to you about this...” The camera pans back to Edith who’s chewing absently on the back of her pen, “And really I couldn’t get anywhere near her with a pole anyway kiddo nice try..” Karmen continues asJew bitch pouts at her “Karmen...” “Drop it kiddo, bad enough Arcadia’s here..”

The camera cuts to the main stage the banner rolling across the screen reading “Show time!” As the theme plays Penny wise stepping out onto the runway, short green dress with orange curls bouncing as she walks to the end of the runway. “Hello and welcome to the main stage of Derry drag! Let’s meet our esteemed judges, Georgie denbrough how are you darling?” The camera flashes to a Well kept moustached man with a yellow suit, one arm pinned up. “Oh I’m doing quite well Mama wise ready to lend a hand,” He laughs as the camera flashes back to Penny wise who’s giggling to herself.

“Adrien Mellon my love your looking absolutely devine!” The camera goes to a man with a lightning earring and bright green hair,“Thanks miss wise, Mrs wise if your nasty right?” He chuckles as the camera cuts back Penny wise whosmirks “You got that right boo, And lastly donbaby god it’s good to have you back!” The camera goes back to a man with blonde frosted tips and a full beard with a flannel button up and bow tie. “Good to be back miss wise!” The camera goes back to penny wise, “Alright let’s get this talent show under way!”

There’s a star fade as Jew bitch steps onto the main stage Penny wise’s voice over “first up Jew bitch singing ‘I can’t help falling in love with you,’ ” The camera pans over as The queen performs in a soft pink dress that fallsjust to her knees. “I chose this song as a nod to my girlfriend patty.. God i love her so much and it’s weird being away from her , we’ve been glued at the hip forever!” Jew bitch’s voice over says as she takes her bow on the stage. Penny’s voice announcing the next act. “Next up Karmen Komedian , wit h a short bit of stand up.”

the camera cuts to Karmen on stage “So when i was twenty i worked in a retirement homer as a waiter, and boy let me tell you there was never a dull moment.I remember this one time I was taking this woman’s order, sweet lady mostly. I got through one option on the menu before she stripped out of her clothes, it took two care workers to get her clothes back on and it took everything in me not to tell her that chicken strips were on the next days menu,” the judges laugh lightly as Karmen continues for her minute, swishing across the stage in a long black and white striped gown.

There’s a star jump cut As karma finishes and the stage is set with a bedazzled plush lawn chair with a set of hand cuffs attached to one arm. “Next up is Edith Kay doinga special lawn chair handcuff burlesque number!” the voice over states as a smooth song starts playing the slight sound of glasses clink in the background as Edith stops onto the stage lavender wig pinned nicely on top of her head ,she slowly drops the robe before slipping on the one cuff and starting her act.

The camera cuts to Karmen in the confessional biting down on his knuckles “I’m going to die and it’s only the first week...I can’t even...I can’t..” He starts to let out a slightly lols scream as it cuts to Arcadia’s confessional, arms crossed over his chest as he glares into the camera. “Bitch is doing burlesquetoo, i think I’ve found another rival here...”It cuts back just in time to see Edith bow and scoop up her robe before walking back off the runway.

It gives a fade in with the lights to Arcadia perched on a plush pink couch, “Next to preform Arcadia token, doing a burlesque number,” The song starts and Arcadia peels off her robe tossing it to the side as she does a slight routine , the camera moving to the judges nodding slightly before switching back in time to swatch Arcadia stand forgetting she tossed her robe and stepping on it she slips and falls on her ass, it cuts threw a few of the girls silent in confessional before stopping on Karmen who’s hysterical with laughter.

________

“Holy hell look at my family!” Patty coos at the camera“Jew bitch I love you so so fucking much, and Karmen don’t worry Maggie’s taking good care of me.Also I can speak for a lot of us when I say I hope there’s a chance for you and Edith Karmen your stunning!!” She smiles “team Karmith for the win! And did you see how cute Phoenix and January are? Ugh and don’t get me started again on stichelle again they make me so soft, god absolutely too perfect!!!” She pauses spinning her chair.

“And okay can we talk about the utter hilarity Of Arcadia’s slip?” Patty giggles “Like after all the shit her and Stabitha talked in the work room! This was chef’s kiss beautiful! And Edith oh my god pleas teach me how to do that thing with the hand cuff key and the spoon!” She Kicks her feet Laughing “Seriously most of these girls are so good! Seriously Stephanie doing that painting upside down took major skill! Like did y’all see how good that portrait of Michelle was!”

She pauses wiping slightly at her eyes “Don’t look at me I’m so soft!” She sniffles “Anyway let’s go watch these last two girls “

__________

The commercial break ends and the camera spins down to show Stabitha on stage Knifes in hand penny wises voice over starts “Next we have stabitha doing a live juggling act!” There’s slight circus music playing as Stabitha starts juggling and the camera goes between the judges and stabitha the judges watching with looks of mixed horror and curiosity. It goes back to stabitha just as she drops a knife just inches from her feet earning a gasp from the judges. The view cuts to the paramedics on stand by just off stage.

There’s another jump cut to Flame babie on stage two torches and a bucket of gas online as well as a lighter, “and finally flame babie here with a flame dance,”Penny wises voice over says as Flame sets her sticks on fire. The performance is going well untilFlame tries to do a death drop tossing the baton up. She nearly sets the curtains on fire. The Crew on standby is quick with there extinguishers as the camera flashes back to the judges watching on with momentary horror before It snaps to Victoria in the confessional laughing hard.

“Bitch nearly burned down the whole fucking building!” She snorts kicking her runner clad feet “If the bitch isn’t in the bottom I’ll sue!” He snorts as it spirals back to the main stage “Category on the runway is Rainy day. “The music starts as “Betty Coxxer serving us rain puddle realness,” Penny wise states as the queen steps on the runway clad in a dark blue dress with lighter blue waves fading up “I am giving you jumped in puddle splash back realness, And I just hope the judges love it as much as I do,” Betty’s voice chirps over as she walks the runway .

“Waves, baby got them rolls,” Don laughs as Adrian pipes up “She sure did make a splash on the runway,” the judges laugh as Betty steps off the runway Victoria crescent stops out in a tight green body suit with a frog hat, make up done to match “Looks like Victoria’s got a little frog in her throat!!” Penny wise muses as the queen reaches the end of the runway walking to the left. “Let’s just hope this girl doesn’t croak!” Georgie teases earning some ops from the other judges as VIctoria leaves the runway.

Next to walk out is Stephanie in a small yelllow raincoat dress with apaper boat in place for a boat on her ass. “I’m getting major childhood flash backs,” Georgie laughs lightly as Stephanie does a small twirl “Stephanie sure has a smile to launch a thousand ships,” Adrian muses as the queen exits the stage. A gold star slides across the screen showing all the queens on stage, “Welcome girls tonight’s runway looks were just a splash to watch! Now Michelle, Stephanie, Victoria, Betty ,Phoenix and January embers...”There’s a pause as the camera flashes between the queens.

“Your all safe if you could please head back stage And un tuck while we o over the tops and bottoms of the week,” penny wise says as the girls called leave the stage. “Now the the six of you represent the tops and bottoms of the week, Let’s start with Jew bitch,” miss wise says as the camera moves to The blonde at the left of the runway. “Let’s start with your runway, “ georgie starts “I absolutely love this little number,” He says as the camera pans down showing a cute little blue dress with hanging crystals and fluffed up clouds .

“When it rains it pours and baby, this look is raining for the rainbow which is you and your singing!” “Mama wise pipes in now “You have beautiful vocals Jew bitch, was that song for someone in particular ?” Jew bitch smiles “ I picked it for my girlfriend back home, this is the first time we’ve really been apart in forever.” There’s a few awes from the judges before the camera moves onto the next queen. ” Karmen darling first off this dress,” Don starts the camera panning over the queen in dress covered in stems and sunflowers, “Absolutely stunning, I can almost smell those sunflowers!” Penny wise laughs “What didn’t smell though is your act tonight, very well done my dear you had us all in stitches!”

She smiles into the camera before it pans to Edith, “Okay I’m going to say it you reflect everything I wish i could see in myself ,”the judges laugh and Edith grins in her iridescent raincoat and dress twirling her matching umbrella. “That burlesque number was to die for! How did you do that thing with the glove?” Georgie asks leaning on the desk and Edith giggles “That’s my little secret,” the camera moves down to Stabitha. “Stabithayour runway tonight...” Pennny wise pauses looking up the red fire hydrant themed dress “Put it this way I wouldn’t pee on you if you were on fire.” Georgie dead pans, “And can we talk about how you almost stabbed yourself?”

Stabitha sighs ringing her hands “I’ve practiced the routine hundreds of times and I think I just got overly nervous! This is the first time I’ve ever dropped one!” She defends before it cuts back to the judges rolling thier eyesbefore moving on to “flame babie,” Adrian starts. “How do i even start with your outfit?” Don starts out as the camera looks over flame in a blonde bob with an upside down umbrella for a head piece, and a sequinned coat. “I mean you look like an arts store threw up with those sequins,” Adrian adds. “And let’s not even start on the fact you nearly burned this place down!” Mamma wise says leaning back in her chair.

“And lastly Arcadia,” Penny wise moves on “your runway look tonight is if nothing simple and boring,” Penny wise states as the camera looks over the queen in a sleek black pleather coat with a wide brimmed hat. “And your act tonight, was simply okay how is your ass feeling?” Georgie asks and Arcadia’s jaw tenses slightly “Fine,” She replies a bit snappy before the camera view gives a wide shot of all the judges.”Alright ladies time to head back stage while the judges and i decide who floats to the top, and how drowns..”

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“Oohhhh the judges are not holding back this season!” Patty squeals slightly this is so exciting!!! Ahhh i could burst with anticipation! While the judges debate let’s read some of your thirst tweets you guys!” Patty pulls out her phone tapping a few times “I bookmarked a few this time! @Cherrybombpheonix writes Phoenix could rip my new skirt,drink my coffee and shave my head and I’d thank her #teampheonix “

Patty giggles “oooo @CAnadianhotttttmesss says Jew bitch is a thief your honour she’s stolen my heart #teamjewbitch” Patty smiles “me too babe me too, “umm...” She scrolls down to the next tweet “last one before going back to the show from @criesinedithkay my baby!! God they don’t know how wonderful you are yet baby your gonna kill this!! also fuck me. Up with that burlesque #teamedithkay “ She smiles softly “Alright looks like the queens are back!!

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“Alright Edith Kay darling, your safe you may join the other girls!” Penny announces and the small queen nods walking back to stand net to Phoenix. “That leaves Jew bitch and Karmen Komedian, and the judges have decided,” there’s a dramatic pause as the camera goes between the two queens “Jew bitch your the winner baby!” the other queens clap as she jumps in placehappily “this means so much thank you!!” She gushes hugging onto Karmen. “Your two can join the other girls now, thank you.”

the two queens walk to the back of the stage leaving flame babie, Stabitha and Arcadia on the stage. “Stabitha your performance tonight combined with your runway look left the judges cut off from what else you could offer, I’m sorry my dear but you are up for elimination.” Penny wise finishes as It cuts to stabitha in confessional running fingers through his hair. “I really tried, but now I have to send someone packing..I’m not going down without a fight..”

It cuts back to the two queens “Flame babie your performance went up in flames and your runway leaves us hung out to dry with no clue, and Arcadia token you left us feeling bored and uninspired...” There’s a small pause “Arcadia you are safe, you may join the other queens. Flame babie I’m sorry my dear but that means your up for elimination.” The camera goes to Flame in confessional staring down at his hands “I’m just disappointed in myself more than anything..” He sighs as it goes back to the queens on opposite sides of the stage.

“Stabitha , Flame babie ...Now the time has come for you to lipsync for your lights!! This is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination! Before tonight you were asked to prepare a lipsync to untouched by the veronicas,” It goes back to the queens as the song plays, the camera bouncing between the performing queens and the judges “You can tell Flame is trying but Stabitha is just working it,” Victoria’s voice overmuses as the two queens on stage push it with splits and twirls until the song slowly ends.

Both queens move to the opposite side of the stage out of breath and breathing heavy, “Alright laities i have made my decision...” The music amps up a little as it flaps between the two queens “Stabitha shanty’s you stay,” the music mellows as stabitha exhales “thank you, thank you so much...” She cries slightly walking back to join the other girls “Flame babie, your time with us was short but your flame will always burn bright my dear, now. Sashay away,” flame simply nods walking off the stage not even bothering to say anything as a goodbye.

It cuts to the backstage camera as flame huffs walking past the camera giving it a slight shove as she goes, it flashes back to the stage. “Well as they say if you can’t love yourself how in the hell can you love anyone else? Can I get an amen babies?”There’s a group amen as the music starts playing and the credits roll.

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“Holy shit!! Ahh this is so good already can you guys believe it! I do agree with the elimination this week! What about all of you? Tweet me about it and You could be featured at the beginning of next weeks episode, until then this is your Jewish mom patty take care and see you next week!”


End file.
